The risk and reward of hiring can make or break the effectiveness and culture of your team. A hiring misstep can have an unrecoverable impact on team performance. 

We all have them, the puzzle piece that just didn’t fit. Those hires that had “so much potential” but didn’t quite hit the mark. Those that we inherited from another leader, who couldn’t speak highly enough about them, but we just couldn’t find synergy. 

Being twins and leaders in the same fast growing organization, we had a lot of great discussions around what worked and what didn’t. We have both hired hundreds, if not thousands, of people over our tenures. The ones we are talking about are the ones we hired as superstars but unknowingly put them into a role that restricted their unique talents and silenced their communication style. Not on purpose, it was always based on the needs of the business at the time, but misplaced all the same.   

What often looked like underperformance was actually misplaced talent. 

You’re not burned out from working too hard. You’re burned out from working against your own design.

Most leaders at your level have optimized everything except the one thing that actually sustains performance. This is not a performance problem, it’s a design problem.

You’ve read the books, done the trainings, listened to podcasts and tried more time management hacks than you care to admit. But your energy still feels depleted.

You are a strong leader by every external measure, but internally, something feels chronically off. You’re carrying more than your role requires, and you can’t explain how or why, it’s hard to put it into words. Every time you try to describe how you are feeling, it is just “off”

The cost isn’t just fatigue. It’s the slow erosion of the leader you actually are.

As a high achieving leader you have pushed yourself to succeed but now things are feeling heavier. That’s not because you have less capacity, it’s because you are using your energy in ways you were n...

“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously” -Prentice Hemphill

When we talk to leaders about what they are struggling with the most, boundaries are in the top 3! We didn’t truly understand the importance or the process of boundaries until we learned how to best use our energy.

1. We started prioritizing when and how we responded

Not all messages are equal. We started prioritizing who and when people had access to our energy and that included response times to messages. One of the biggest energy drain for us was the ”illusion” of a clear inbox. Just because I am at my computer does not mean I am available, and someone else’s important does not automatically equal my urgent!

Once we prioritized who got our energy when, things changed.

2. We started setting and honoring “working hours”

We grew up seeing and learning just how important a strong work ethic is. As leaders this translated to being “on” or available all the time. We were rewarded for that ...

A senior leader recently told me something that stopped me: 

“I’m doing well… but everything feels heavier than it should.”

On paper, she was succeeding. Strong performance. High trust. Big responsibility.

But behind the scenes:

• she was carrying too much

• making more decisions than her role required

• and holding emotional weight that wasn’t actually hers

Nothing was “wrong.” But it wasn’t sustainable. Successful on paper. Exhausted in private.

Quietly questioning how long she could keep going.

She wasn’t underperforming. She wasn’t disengaged. But she was carrying more than her role required, emotionally, mentally, and operationally.

The result:

• constant decision fatigue

• difficulty delegating

• growing frustration with her team

• and a feeling that leadership was costing her too much

We mapped how she was naturally wired to lead, how she processes decisions, where her energy flows best, and what kind of responsibility she’s actually designed...

Like they’re always bracing for something. Like they can’t ever fully relax. Like they’re carrying the whole world in their head.

They do the job. They run the business. They hold the family. They handle the emotions.

And everyone thinks they’re fine. But inside, it feels like living in a body that never gets to exhale.

That’s not weakness. That’s what happens when you live out of alignment with how you’re built.

You don’t need to quit your job and reboot your life. You just need to understand how you actually work.

There’s a different way to be successful that doesn’t cost you yourself.

Find your Expansion Style if this feels uncomfortably accurate.

You’re not lazy. You’re not ungrateful. You’re not broken.

You’re just tired of carrying everything.

The decisions. The people. The expectations. The version of yourself you have to be to keep it all running.

Most successful women don’t feel stressed, they feel heavy. Like life is a backpack they can’t take off.

If that’s you, y...

What you're actually experiencing is Ego–Self misalignment.

You built a powerful Persona (the competent leader, the fixer, the reliable one)… but your true nature (how her energy and decision-making actually works) is being abandoned every day.

That creates chronic inner friction. That friction feels like:

• Exhaustion that rest doesn’t fix

• Resentment that you don't want to admit

• A creeping “I should be further along than this” shame

• And a weird grief for a life you never had time to live

This isn’t stress, it’s self-betrayal with a mortgage.

What you are really suffering from is that internal repeating loop of “If I stop performing who I had to become… will I still be worthy, respected, or safe?”

So you keep over-functioning, over-delivering, people-pleasing upward & holding everyone together… even though the internal pressure is quietly screaming “this isn’t how I’m built.”

That is why burnout feels existential. You're not tired, you're miscast.

What you ...

They built their careers by becoming who they needed to be:
The reliable one,
The competent one,
The one who doesn’t need anything.

It worked... they got the title, the income, the reputation. But inside...

Something feels quietly wrong. Not broken, just "off".

Not dramatic.
Not a breakdown.
Just a constant low-grade tension in the chest that never fully leaves.

That’s not stress. That’s what happens when your internal pressure is forcing you to live a life it wasn’t designed for.

When you keep making decisions from obligation instead of instinct.
When you lead in ways that drain you instead of fuel you.
When you succeed by betraying your natural way of operating.

Most women think:
“I just need more rest.”
“I need better boundaries.”
“I need to try harder or care less.”

The truth is much simpler and far scarier...

You are running your life on someone else's operating system. Your Leadership Design isn’t about personality. It’s about how your energy is meant to move through the wor...

And if you’re not careful, an expiration date

If you don't know the difference, you're probably working past yours.

Think about milk.

The sell-by date is when the store should stop selling it, but it's still good for a week or two after that.

The expiration date is when it's actually spoiled. Done. Unusable. Throw it out.

Most leaders confuse the two.

You hit your "sell-by date" when:

• The role that used to excite you now drains you
• The company culture that used to inspire you now suffocates you
• The leadership style that used to work doesn't fit anymore
• You've outgrown the position but keep trying to make it work

But instead of recognizing the sell-by date, you push through.

You manage harder. You optimize more. You convince yourself you just need better boundaries, better systems, better time management.

And you keep going until you hit expiration.

You know you've hit expiration when:

• You don't recognize yourself anymore
• Every Sunday night feels like dread
• You re...

I'm not a boxer.

But I was ready to pick a fight.

It was a Tuesday afternoon. Another leadership meeting. Another conversation negotiating who in our leadership team was taking on what portion of our division’s goals. Yet another situation where my team was being pressured to take on an additional 30 Million in quota to cover the shortfall of another team. 

I felt my jaw clench. My voice got inappropriately loud. My hands slapped down on my notebook on the table.

And I had this wild thought: "I could flip this table right now."

(I didn't, of course. But the impulse was real)

That's when I knew something was deeply wrong, deeply misaligned.

Not with the meeting. With me.

Because leaders don't fantasize about flipping conference tables in quota meetings.

But managers who are pretending to lead? We absolutely do.

Here's what I realized in that moment:

I was no longer leading my team. I was managing their problems. I was no longer leading myself. I was managing my resentment. I ...