The Leadership Lie We All Believed

"You can have it all, just not all at the same time."

We used to say this constantly. To our team. To other women. To ourselves.

And we were wrong.

Not wrong about the sentiment. Wrong about what it implied.

Because when we say "you can't have it all at the same time," what we're really saying is:

"Leadership requires sacrifice." "Success requires compromise." "You have to choose between your career and your life."

And we’re calling BS.

The problem isn't that you can't have it all.

The problem is that you're trying to have it all in someone else's design.

Let me explain.

We spent years trying to lead like the men around us. Early mornings, late nights, constant availability, relentless drive.

We thought that's what leadership looked like, because that was all we saw.

So when we burned out, we assumed the problem was that we wanted too much. Career success AND personal fulfillment? That's not realistic. Pick one.

But here's what we discovered after a decade of deep work in leadership development and energetics:

We weren't burned out because we wanted too much.

We were burned out because we were leading out of alignment with our natural design.

There's a reason servant leadership burns you out: it's probably not your design.

There's a reason "always be available" exhausts you: it's probably not your design.

There's a reason playing the "yes man" feels like a costume you can't take off: it's probably not your design.

Leadership isn't one-size-fits-all. But we keep trying to force ourselves into the same mold.

Here's the difference between managing and leading:

• Managing is controlling outcomes, solving everyone's problems, being indispensable.
• Leading is creating vision, empowering others, being authentic.

When you're managing, you can't have it all, because you're trying to be everything to everyone.

When you're leading from your design, you don't have to choose, because you're not trying to be someone you're not.

The Hard Truth: If you’re not leading someone, you’re only managing them.

And if you’re only managing yourself, you’re not leading yourself either.

You’re just surviving your own career.

So what if the problem isn't that you want too much?

What if the problem is that you're leading in a way that was never designed for you?

What if you could have:

• A successful career AND energy left at the end of the day
• Authority AND authenticity
• Impact AND ease
• Everything you want AND the freedom to enjoy it

Not by doing more. But by leading differently.

Stop trying to fit yourself into someone else's leadership playbook.

Stop sacrificing yourself to prove you're a good leader.

Stop managing your way to burnout and calling it dedication.

Leadership isn't about how much you can endure.

It's about how authentically you can show up.

You can absolutely have it all. Just not in someone else's design.

Need help learning how, Find your Design Style & download your report or join us for an Aligned Leader Program.